“F” is for Forgiveness

 

Little curly blond boy and girl play in poppy flower field. Child picking red poppies. Toddler kid in summer meadow. Family vacation in the country. Children pick flowers hug and kiss. Siblings love.

When someone wrongs us, it is natural to allow negative emotions to flood our minds. We yearn for our offender to admit guilt and to provide relief with closure. But whether you receive the apology that you desire or not, it is crucial to first and foremost, forgive. Forgiveness is a skill, so teach it. When applied and practiced, forgiveness can create a pathway for a much more peaceful existence with others, and therefore a happier life. Set your children off on the right foot by equipping them with the tools to successfully forgive others right from the start.

With every hurt we experience, we develop a realistic and mature view of life and the people in it. By growing from each hurt, we are given the opportunity to turn a period of grief into a triumph. Teach your little one that we achieve the most growth by feeling emotions, versus acting like we don’t care.

Help your child to explore their wrongdoer, instead of focusing on their action. Perhaps this person is experiencing their own hurt that has caused them to commit the offense. Explain that when someone is feeling sad they are prone to say or do things that they don’t really mean. People don’t generally go around hurting others purposefully, but it is usually a symptom of an internal conflict or emotion they are experiencing. There are two healthy ways to react and forgive: with love and compassion, or acceptance and silence. Forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean returning the relationship to the status quo, but of accepting the transgression and realizing that life is greater than a single violation. Teach your child to recognize their emotion, but to let go of the hurt and find their happiness.

When kids have been hurt, they will seek validation for their feelings. Help them to let their emotions breathe and vent in a healthy way, and then to forget. Be an excellent role model, and handle your own relationships with the art of forgiveness. Most importantly, always show your little ones true forgiveness, even when they hurt you. Eventually, your child will catch on to the prime example you have set, and will develop into an emotionally mature, forgiving adult like yourself.

For further tips and ideas about how to address your child’s feelings visit blog.wellbabycenter.org .

annabellesmallAmanda Schmid graduated from California State University, Northridge and works at Well Baby Center.


Posted in Forgiveness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Infant Cues

Every infant uses cues: verbal and nonverbal means of communicating with his or her caregiver. Cues are the means that infants use to engage with and disengage from contact with the people around them, particularly their primary caregivers. The ways in which parents and caregivers respond to infants’ cues inform how those infants expect have their needs met—or not. Timely and appropriate responses to infants’ cues help them to know that they are secure, whereas inconsistent responses or a lack of responses can lead to a feeling of insecurity in the caregiver-infant relationship.
For further tips and ideas about how to address your child’s feelings visit blog.wellbabycenter.org .

annabellesmallDeborah Groening is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Psy.D. Candidate, and Certified Infant-Mental Health Specialist. She is also the Executive Director of Well Baby Center.


Posted in Infant Cues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment